Monday, April 21, 2008

Bowing to peer pressure

Apparently, my younger brother thinks that my new job is like being one of "The Bobs", consultants to Initech -- interviewing people to see if they get to keep their job.

God, if only it were so. That'd be sweet.

My older brother thinks that I'm too busy in my job as a "scheming backroom troll" to post to my neglecterino blog. I will accept the label, if being a troll entails hiding under a bridge and clubbing people as they try to sneak by.

Actually, I've been busy playing house as my better half has made an impromptu several-week trip to snow-bound Calgary to visit her ailing grandmother. But things are looking up.

Meanwhile, Krankor and El Cerdo have baited me into sharing my own list of in-jokes. Which will be funny to no one except me. Here you go:

1. "Maple -- powerful package."
2. "I ain't missing polar bears. I ain't missing no f***ing polar bears."
3. "Look, a Venn diagram!"
4. "I cleaned the booth." (singing) "I cleaned the booth!"
5. A Bunch of Slackers
6. Minimum Rage
7. "May I speak with Ruth?" "I'm sorry?" "My terminal says 'call for Ruth'." "Uh, it's 'Call for AUTH'."
8. Joe F***ing Phone Books
9. "Hey, I think I saw that guy today that looks like a frightened squirrel."
10. "What's that guy's name -- Febreeze? Dale said his name was Febreeze." "It's Fabrice." "Shut up! His name is Febreeze!"
11. "The Rat's boyfriend sucks at chess. But he nearly won. I was too drunk to see all the way across the board, I could only play on my half."
12. "Harry Potter screwed up my order at McDonald's again."
13. "Brown is a poopy colour."
14. "It's Mr. Crack!"
15. "Hey, look it's Doug Henning! Doug, are you going to make Niagara Falls disappear?!"