Happy Canada Day!

Celebrate, hosers!

Terrorizing children is funny!

Only in Japan...

Best laugh I've had in a while.

And perfectly true.


Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'

Twitter

I used to think Twitter was stupid.

I still might. But I'm beginning to think it is a better fit than real blogging for someone as lazy as me.

Therefore, tweets have been added to the sidebar. Woot!

YOUR URGENT UNDERSTANDING IS NEEDED

Subject: Awaitting your responce.

My name is Barack Hussein Obama, one of the sons of Barack Obama, Sr., a Luo from Nyang'oma Kogelo, Nyanza Province, Kenya, and of Ann Dunham Soetoro.

As a result of my recent election to a high government post, I have come into possession of $3,550,000,000,000 ($3.55 trillion of U.S. dollars), that I wish to transfer to various agents in the states and abroad during the years 2009 and 2010.

However, there are many in the U.S. legislative body who want to restrict or encumber these funds. I have spoken with my advisers Messrs. David Plouffe and David Axelrod, also high government officials, on how to distribute this money without hitches, and they advised me to liaise with various U.S. citizens by email who can act as partners to impress upon their representatives that the money in question is urgently needed for important projects.

It is on this basis I am seeking for assistance. Your percentage is negotiable. Please note; your age and profession doesn't really matter in this transaction. Waiting for your immediate response.

Regards,
Barack Hussein Obama

(h/t: scrappleface)

The Back Up. A Covert Shotgun Rack for Your Bed Mattress

Krankor, you devil.

I didn't know you had gone to Texas.

Hackers Crack Into Texas Road Sign, Warn of Zombies Ahead.

Canada's federal budget 2009 summary:

<- Abe Simpson > "Hell in a handbaaaasket!!!" < /Abe >

I just like the music.

2009 will be...

Occurring rather later than 2008 did.

RIP: Majel Barrett Roddenberry

As yet another original Trek actor passes on, I'd like to pause at this poignant moment and ask:

Who's gonna last the longest? My money's on Sulu.

Government = fun!

What to make about the fact that Canada's Finance Minister has told Canada's banks to alter their credit policies?

1. Jim Flaherty thinks that the best way out of an economic mess that was caused by too much credit going to iffy people is to give even more credit to even more iffy people.
2. Jim Flaherty thinks he knows better than privately-owned corporations what strategies are profitable for them.
3. Jim Flaherty thinks privately-owned corporations will choose to make decisions that are not in their best interests because he asked them to.
4. Jim Flaherty thinks privately-owned corporations will choose to make decisions that are not in their best interests because they feel they owe him a favour for his past actions.
5. Jim Flaherty knows damn well that the banks will continue to make decisions that are in their own best interests, but is merely setting the groundwork for being able to publicly blame the banks later on if the economy really really really goes in the crapper and he needs to score some political points at a later date.
   

Message for da Gubmint

A bailout is not "stimulus". It is a bailout.

Or, more likely, a fun exercise in both pissing money down an endless sinkhole while simultaneously delaying economic progress.

Lessee, here in Canada, we've got bailouts underway for autos, forestry, mining (mining??), and shipbuilding. Oh, and an assumption of risk from the banks, who were doing just fine anyway. Who wants to guess what's next?

I'm looking forward to the Great Chewing Gum Bailout of '09.

Random thoughts on the current silly "crisis" in Canadian federal politics

• Do you think the opposition parties could defeat the government in a vote anyway? The Tories would just have to snag a handful of votes from a couple of maverick opposition MPs (including the 2 independent MPs).
• Getting rid of the per-vote party subsidy is something that I wholeheartedly agree with; however, it would have been nice if it had been in the Conservative election platform. I think it makes it at least somewhat defensible to defeat the government when they're trying to pass through something they didn't really get a mandate for. An alternative: Introduce separate legislation that would phase out the per-vote subsidy after 2-3 years. This would give the other parties a fair chance to remember how to fundraise again. (And the Bloc can just fuck right off anyway.)
  
• The Tories would be better able to defend their avoidance of deficit spending in the mini-budget if Harper hadn't been flip-flopping like a Pacific salmon out of its bucket on the issue of deficits over the past several weeks.
  
• Having said that, I don't think it's defensible to defeat the government on the other aspects of the economic update alone. The Conservatives have won a mandate to be the government, and they ran on an election platform of a cautious, conservative fiscal approach in a difficult economy. They have the right to implement that approach.
• It seems stupid anyway to think it's imperative to start shovelling around money we don't have on random things just for the sake of wanting to look like invoking decisive action. Things aren't that bad yet, and it's not clear what's going to happen next anyway. Why panic?
• I do find it distasteful that Harper has now postponed the "opposition days" to put off any potential confidence vote. I sure as hell didn't like it when PM PM pulled the same stunt in 2005. I think Harper should say, "We're doing what we think is right, and if we don't have the confidence of the House, I want to know right now. Have at 'er."
• Regarding the following sequence of events: (1) Government defeated on confidence motion (2) GG refuses new election and invites opposition party(s) to try to form a governement (3) Opposition coalition gaining the confidence of the House; I put odds of this happening at about 5% probability or less.
  
• The Liberals just don't know what the hell to do with themselves when they're not in power, do they?
• The opposition parties are probably just playing chicken as well, anyway.
  
• Krankor made me put this in bullet form instead of writing a well thought out essay.
  

Dude, the mayor used to hang out here. I swear!

I know I'm reading something into this that almost certainly isn't true, but in my mind what I love best about this story is the possibility that the protesters chose to show up at Toronto's Old City Hall without knowing that the municipal government left for new digs back in the 60s.

Uh Steve...

Gee, I didn't realize that being "conservative" was optional during difficult times.

I mean, if you want to be a liberal, that's cool, but at least be up front about it.

Obama and McCain - Dance Off!

I love the Canadian Football League

The 2008 East Semi-Final: Edmonton at Winnipeg.

Geography has changed a bit since I was a kid...

The Winning Hand

We have come to the final showdown, and it's time to show my cards. Krankor and Ignatz have put up a good fight, but I have the Royal Flush hand: Mel Lastman.



The guy did a bang-up job of ensuring that the 2008 Summer Olympics did not go to Toronto, but instead, that classy, peace-loving, exemplary, world-loved town of Beijing.

"What the hell do I want to go to a place like Mombasa? I just see myself in a pot of boiling water with all these natives dancing around me." -- Toronto Mayor Mel Lastman

This really was just the tip of the iceberg in a career of buffoonery. He is missed.

I'll see your McCain, and raise you a Chretien

In the grand game of dottering old politicians yammering on into hilarity.

Bringing a tear to the eye of Killer Carl...

Dear politicians,

There is no such thing as a free lunch.

Really, there isn't.

Really.

Get over it!

So it has come to the point where I can no longer locate any politicians in the Western world that are actually proponents of free markets. (Other than a couple of guys that are nutso for other reasons.) I mean, maybe there are some that believe in markets privately, but in public they take the position of a pandering jackass.

In the upcoming Canadian federal election, I have 7 candidates representing 7 parties to choose from to vote for MP in my lovely home riding of Oshawa. As near as I can tell, each one of the candidates and parties is in favour of increasing the size of government.

(I'm sure my brother will tell me that the Conservatives are in favour of reducing the size of government, but really, where's the evidence of that? Show me, don't tell me.)

I'm voting for Bill The Cat.

I have an excuse.

I am only responding to brother Ig's tag because I've had a couple of beers.

1. Where was I ten years ago? Being an unemployed bum in Dartmouth, NS. However, my keen brain was finally beginning to realize that a life plan of sitting on a couch needed a bit of fine-tuning, and began to think about getting the hell out of Dodge.

2. What was on my To Do list today? Preparing for a planned evacuation alarm / fire drill at my office (for some foolish reason, I have volunteered to be our business' Lead Fire Warden). Working on some internal communications (half done). Trying to prepare for a business requirements session conference call, which was naturally pre-empted by the actual fire alarm (muddled through it). Pass the buck on a customer upgrade campaign (success!). Answer 10,000 emails (success! - okay, not that many). Pretending to analyze some data (I need me some of those Homer Simpson glasses that have pictures of open eyeballs on the lenses).

And more importantly, buying a tank of gas (a mere $85), buying beer (less than half of that), and taking the missus out to dinner as we like to do on Fridays. I also planned to watch the Jays beat the Sox tonight, but that didn't work out for obvious reasons.

3. What would I do if I were a billionaire? (a) Seriously consider paying cash in the U.S. for back surgery for the missus. (b) Buy a house. (c) Put a CFL expansion team in Halifax. (d) Travel, travel, travel.

4. Five places I've lived: Dartmouth, NS; North York, ON (okay, only for 3 summers); Halifax NS; Kingston ON; Dartmouth NS; Oshawa, ON; A State Of Denial.

5. Bad habits: Almost missing the bus; Eating at restaurants too often; Drinking all of the beer in the fridge until it's gone; Not looking at people; Not exercising; Entering the far lane directly after making a turn; Leaving work at 4:00 p.m. (Oh wait, that's a good habit); Fiddling with my Blackberry when I should be doing something else.

Now, I will tag: Paul Splittorf, Carrot Top, Bootsauce, Strom Thurmond, and Snuffleupagus.

Your Large Hadron Collider Update

In case you want to keep an eye on it...

I don't remember this from the game...

Update for Krankor

http://www.hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com/

Check out the source file for this web page... good stuff.

Look out zombies!

He's got my vote! Go Krankor!

Then again...

Quebec is probably worse than Ontario at this sort of nonsense.

The nanny state strikes again

Ig is indeed correct. Ontario: where everything that's not mandatory is banned.

Extreme Ironing

Imperials Invade San Francisco

Insert the Wiggles guy...

Watch for Krankor's profile

Of course, he may not be looking for dates, but looking to kick some ass.

Brush with celebrity

I walked around the corner of a building in Toronto today, and almost smacked right into... this guy.

I'll give you all a moment to recover.

A rising star to keep your eye on...

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2854845/resume

Mockery, I'd say.