Friday, November 30, 2007

Strategically naming children

Do you think if you give your baby a certain name, they'll have a better chance to have the career you want them to have?

If you would like your son to become a barrel maker when he grows up, you might name him Cooper. If you want him to be a top university administrator, you can name him Dean. And if you would like him to knock over banks, you could name him Rob.

I'm pretty sure the parents of this woman wanted her to be a lawyer. Good job!


El Cerdo Ignatius said...

And if you want your son to be some weird guy who hands out envelopes jammed full of cash, you name him Karlheinz.

Krankor said...

You have to be careful with strategic names, though.

For instance, in 16th century Austria, naming your kid Burgermeister Meisterburger guaranteed at least a mayoralty of a Teutonic municipality.

Nowadays, however, the poor bastard would be lucky to rise to a position that required him to ask after a client's preference vis a vis French-fried potatoes garnish.

El Cerdo Ignatius said...

Well, Krankor, fortunately anyone named Burgermeister Meisterburger in the 16th Century would now be approximately 500 years old, and I'm told the mandatory retirement age at McDonald's is 275, even in Austria.

Krankor said...

All I know is that with a name like Krankor Jr., my boy is destined for greatness.